Reflections on a Release

I was called in June 2004 as first counselor in our stake's presidency.  During the years that followed, I spent a LOT of time in this building — in presidency meetings, temple recommend interviews, issuing callings, attending training meetings, giving talks, etc.  Sometimes it felt like I spent more of my waking hours here, than at home.  I would regularly devote 30 hours a week or more to this assignment, including time I spent at home preparing materials or fulfilling assignments.

After more than 9 years of serving, and much joy and growth along the way, a letter from the First Presidency was sent to the stake president in July that included these words:  "It is with sincere appreciation for your watchful guidance of stake affairs and your deep concern for the welfare of the people that we now extend to you and your counselors honorable releases from your positions in the stake presidency. This will take effect at a conference to be held on September 21-22, 2013....  We would like you and your counselors to accept our heartfelt gratitude for your loyal, consecrated service to the Lord, His cause, and the people over whom you have had the honor to preside. We also acknowledge the valued support and service given by your wife and the wives of your counselors."

We kept that information close, not even telling our wives, for several weeks; but we worked carefully to finish up assignments and prepare the way for those who would succeed us.

Eventually, the weekend arrived.  We had a wonderful privilege to spend time with Elder Joseph W. Sitate, a member of the First Quorum of Seventy born in Kenya, and his wife.  They were exceptionally gracious and kind.

Elder Sitate and Elder Dane Leavitt, an Area Seventy, spent several hours in interviews and then called a new stake presidency — men whom I knew well, already loved, and now sustain whole-heartedly.

It probably shouldn't have surprised me how quickly everything stopped after we were released.  But the abruptness of the termination was really more surprising than I expected, and the resulting void was almost immediately evident.

• No more emails
• No more phone calls
• No more leadership meetings
• No more assignments to complete
• No more interviews to be scheduled
• No more early mornings and late nights
• No more worries about callings, complaints, or councils

With the exception of a couple of brief interchanges in the first few weeks with one of the counselors who took over some of my assignments, everything else ended "cold turkey."  Sundays were particularly "empty" and open.  To illustrate — in 2008 I tracked my travels on one busy Sunday.  Our stake in Orem is quite compact; though the stake boundaries extend about a mile further to the east, the three chapels are all within an area that is 1/2 mile square.  The map on the left shows my travels between those buildings on one single Sunday, as I attended meetings and filled assignments.  The second map shows what a Sunday now is like, as Bonnie and I walk from our home to the church building and back.  Just a little simpler, wouldn't you say?

Of course, I'm grateful for the extra free time.  I look forward to catching up on many projects that have been waiting for my attention.  I have a long list of things to be done, hobbies to resume, books to read, things to write, tasks to complete.  I even get to sing in the ward choir again!  Life is starting over in many ways, and that's a good thing.

There were a few more subtle changes following our release that have also become apparent in the weeks that have now passed.

• It doesn't take long to NOT be "in the know" — pretty quickly, there are new directions and decisions being made, new callings, new priorities.  The work moves on, and someone else is in charge, and no one needs my opinion on anything; what a wonderful system!
• I no longer have access to many of the wonderful online resources for leaders that had been so helpful during our time of service.
• I miss the sense of being blessed by the prayers of the members who sustain their leaders with action and faith.  In a strong stake like ours, with over 3000 members and a high activity rate, there are many prayers, public and private, offered on behalf of stake leaders.  Those things are very real and tangible — as is their absence.

But there was one final change that probably hit the hardest, was the least expected, and probably hurt the most.  It has to do with relationships and friendships.  After working in stake assignments for the past 14 years straight, I became well acquainted with so many wonderful members outside my normal circles.  Some of those people served in callings that I had stewardship for or close interaction with; some came for counsel or assistance; many shared tender feelings during interviews.  There are, literally, many hundreds of people I became acquainted with, some quite close, because of my calling.  Many of them taught me lessons I'll never forget, and blessed my life profoundly with their faith.  In my mind's eye, there are crowds of these special people!

But now, that has ended.  There are many hundreds of those same people that I now realize I will likely never even see again, and am even less likely to have the chance to have any significant interaction with.  It's as if hundreds of my friends have died, all at once!  That realization was a deep and unexpected shock to me, and maybe the most painful aspect of this release.  I grew to love and appreciate so many of those special stake members.  They blessed my life; I will treasure so many memories.  But I will dearly miss the ongoing interaction, and the chance to learn and grow together.

What a privilege it has been to serve; but more, to be served by so many.

THANK YOU, BELOVED MEMBERS OF THE OREM UTAH CANYON VIEW STAKE!

God bless you... carry on!